Thursday, February 22, 2007

Hang over in W.V.

first couple bands I worked for Run Westy Run and the Cows, saving money
was everything so after the show we would always try to find somebody
that would put us up…Fan…Waitress…Promoter…Some kid that lived with his
"cool" parents. Total crap shoot, sometimes it was a great place where
you could find a nice couch and clean shower, quiet + food…Other times
it was some crash pad that half the audience showed up to also to
Par-tay with the band. And when you finally found a place to sleep on
the floor kind of out of the way, somebody spilled beer on you (fuck
you) you wake up and find your head in cat litter after listening to
some crappy local punk rock "dude you want to hear my band!?" (on 11 and
repeat all night), using your shoes as a pillow.

So because I'm anti-Social and allergic to everything I always tried to
sleep in the van. Quiet, safe knew all the smells, plus somebody tries
to brake into it your there. Any rate I was with the Cows in Morgantown
West Virginia after the show and about 15 shots of jagermiester and 30
beers later I was completely shitfaced when we went to the Promoters
house to stay, I pass out in the van, somebody had the decency to write
the address where everybody else was on my body before they left me in
the van……..Morning comes massive "fuck what did I do too myself last
night?" Hangover………Feels like Bob Dylan slept in my mouth………Door to the
van opens…..van on steep hill………………..van gets put in
gear……………huh?…..eyes focusing…………..FUUUUUCK!

Van on tow truck... I shoot out of the loft and out of the van…
Apparently I got comfortable in the van because I discover as I'm
falling out of the van with a throbbing 'please kick me in the balls'
headache into the rain all I'm wearing is my underwear… Awesome…..I find
myself in the middle of about 12 old people who have come out to see
what all the commotion is about and a big tow truck driver and of course
a Cop…I'm still trying to figure out what the hell is going on…All I
know is one minute waking up in a hangover mist and 10 seconds later I'm
standing in the middle of 14 people in my underwear talking to a cop in
the rain…This is the fucking life.

The cop (surprised) looks at me a say's something like: "whur'd hell'yu'
com' frum?" I try to explain that it's my van and I'll move it,
(apparently we had blocked a driveway after driving drunk) can I put my
pants on?...No…Ok…How much?...Get the hell out here, and don't come
back?...Ahhh…ok…100 bucks they drop the van, and here I am driving the
van in my underwear.

I drive around a little and wait for the commotion to die down, put my
pants on, try to get my bearings, wait for the giant pounding in my head
to subside a little. Park the van a couple of streets over and try to
find the rest of the band…

Fucken address on my arm is a mess I can only kinda read 3 of the 4
numbers (long before cell phones). So now here I am lurking around the 3
houses I think it could be trying to find evidence of the rest of the
band, at least I have my pants and shirt on now, but I'm still a 6' 3
black man with dreadlocks down to my ass that about an hour before has
just been standing on the middle of the street virtually naked…I tried
not to look suspicious…my luck finally changed the first window I peered
in I saw the corner of a sleeping bag and I started pounding on the
door, thinking "I hope I don't get shot by Bubba". Finally Thor (guitar
player) woke up and looked out the window, and let me in…Shaken, Hung
over and soaking wet…and blathering about fuckin pigs, underwear,
fucking $100, the van is blocks over…He started laughing at me and said
"this is the life."

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